A Sassy Signature

Everyone seems to be looking for something, something to buy, something to give, to receive, something to live for. Im always looking for something that makes my life interesting, that makes it an every-day adventure, so this post is a little different than my last ones, because im in an artsy fartsy mood, and i feel like expressing myself, you are about to witness the inner thoughts and feelings of myself at midnight, on the night before i have to work all day. Enjoy.

My freshly painted fingernails fly away at the keys on my keyboard, as I'm letting La Ley, a total nobody band fill my ears, and scowling at my mice because they make ungodly noises on their exercise wheel at night. Ive been thinking lately, and if you know me at all, i have this face that i have on when i think. Its this very lost in translation spaced out look that normally accompanies me biting my lip or playing with one of my like 5 rings that occupy my hands. And as i sit and twirl my freshly dyed pink highlights around my finger i begin to get that feeling that i used to get randomly in high school. No its not gas, if you were wondering. It's that feeling of dreamy-ness, the one where i used to pick up my pencil in math class and doodle random things and fill up my algebra test with unicorns and stick figures of my teachers. That feeling where you close your eyes and just wish you had a convertible to jump into and throw your hands up and let the wind whip through your hair and over your face as you laugh with some Aerosmith song playing, or maybe im just actually recalling that one Aerosmith music video, but whichever it is, it is the feeling of being ultimately free. That feeling that makes your bones ache, that makes everything in side you feel like a neon light show, that your just waiting for someone to turn off the light so you can light up the sky with your neon colors. Its the feeling of an Andy Warhol picture, you know, the ones that are like eight different colors, probably one that is most famous is his one of Marilyn Monroe, its like blue, yellow, green and red or something, if you still have no idea what im talking about, Google that junk. But thats my life right now, a random mix of colors and pictures that when you look at it, it looks slightly odd, but if your step back, squint your left eye and tilt your head to the left you can figure out what the picture is. Its a great feeling discovering something in the chaos of life, of finding something to live for.

If only i could be handed a paintbrush, and dip it in some red paint and just paint all over my walls that would just be, great. why red? I have absolutely no reason why. Its just what i think of, red paint. And that to me would just tap the feeling of freedom that flows through my veins, the feeling of being handed something and people standing back and just letting you do whatever you want to with it, like a paintbrush, filled with bold, dangerous, messy red paint. And letting you paint all over their walls. Creating something.

This is the moment where you sigh a big sigh of relief because my word vomit of useless phrases and feelings is coming to an end. :) If you could live in my mind for a day, you would be engulfed with fabric all over the floor, random shoes tucked under couches and chairs, bowls of cereal and ice cream stacked high in the sink, a spilled bottle of nail polish on the carpet, and a paper towel beside it that i attempted to use to clean up, but my cat who is laying in the window seal stole my attention. And then youll find me lounged on the couch with my hair up in a messy bun, wearing sweatpants with paint stains on them, and a juicy couture jacket with a cherry coke in my hand.

:)

Next post ill be back to my usual self, posting of changing the world and being you, but tonight, i decided to let you in my world for a short moment. Maybe its all the t.v ive watched today, whatever it is, at least im done, and feel like i can finally go to sleep, as the Italians say, the sweetness of doing nothing! Goodnight!

"Il Dulce Far Niente"